Rent-a-Foriegner

Like in India, in Korea, the presence of a foreigner automatically adds legitimacy to an endeavor you are about to undertake. The difference being that in India, the Foreigner Presence can be applied to any number of things and still work, where as in Korea, it is mainly applied to all undertakings involving the speaking of English. On Saturday, I had a chance to experience this, once again, first hand. For the day, I was a Rent-a-foreigner.

I got the call early in the morning. I had been scheduled to go skiing that day but had stayed up too late celebrating with Egypt about Mubarak stepping down and didn't get the information until it was too late. Basically, I woke up at 8:24am and looked at my email which said they were all meeting in Seohyeon at 8:30am. I called my friends and told them there was no way I was going to make it and I was sitting there bummed out about it when my co-worker, Will, called with an alternative idea.

I had to make it to Namseong by 10:30am, but then all I had to do was give a 10 minute speech and I would be paid. Since I had planned to go into Seoul as a plan B anyway, I figured I might as well do it. So I made a mad dash for Namseong and was about 20 minutes late because of traffic and because it was just so far away.

They met me right out of the taxi and we all jumped into someone's car for a quick drive to the hogwon. They told me in the car that all they wanted me to do was talk about how important an English education was at a young age. The speech should last about five minutes and then I was free to go.

Except that there was another one at 2pm. This is typical Korean M.O. They don't tell anyone anything they don't immediately need to know unless it affects them. For instance, were I making this deal in America, the woman I talked to over the phone would have explained there was two jobs. Instead she just told me about the one and told me to come. When I got there, she said, "Can you come back at 2pm also?"

As annoyed as I should have been, I was kind of used to this behavior at this point and since I had nothing else to do, I said 'sure'.

When the teacher I was with and I went in together, I got the kind of treatment that is pretty typical of Korean Foreigner relations. Which is that I was treated like a particularly gifted but socially backwards circus animal. The teacher introduced me, and then guided me to sit somewhere out of the way while she gave her presentation.

When she was done, she gestured dramatically for me to give my speech which was met with titters from the mothers in the crowd. It was as though they hadn't expected me to really start speaking. Most of them just stared at me looking blankly impressed - I'm almost certain that they didn't understand a word I was saying though I made sure to speak slowly and clearly. One mother in the back looked like she understood because she was nodding vigorously to everything I said and whispering rapidly to those around her.

I finished my speech when the 'Boss' that I was working with for the day gave me a gesture, causing more titters from the Mothers. I smiled and said 'thank you', gave a little bow that caused more giggles and we left.

I was told I was going to have to meet them back at 2pm and there would be a new teacher for me to work with but the same Boss. I left for Itaewon, thinking I had enough time to sit down at a restaurant there and eat some good foreign food but by the time I got there I had about half an hour and then I would have to start heading back. Seoul's subway system may be good, but sometimes it takes a long time to get from one place to another.

I ended up eating at Taco Bell, which I had only ever had while intoxicated. Let me tell you, the food doesn't improve with sobriety. I started heading back.

I waited nearly an hour to do my second speech which was really starting to annoy me. The Boss, too, was anxious on my behalf. He kept on saying things like 'do they have to ask so many questions?' and 'look at the mothers! They are all bored, she should stop talking!'

Finally, I made my speech to a lot less giggles with time because I was more confident, I think. And left a hundred bucks richer. I don't know if I'd do it again, but it did pay for my back pack I had to buy for my upcoming trip and a Batman belt buckle that I will probably never wear but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to have.

Afterwards, I went back to Itaewon and bought some hummus at the foreign food store and some bread at a halal bakery because I was still feeling the buzz from Freedom Friday. And it was really good hummus.

Vacation

Sorry for the radio silence, but when I said vacation, apparently, I meant vacation. The week was rather uneventful. I only went downtown once and was greeted with a flood of biblical proportions in the heart of Seoul - here is a picture to let you get a feel for it. Watch the video, too. I really thought the subway was going to be flooded and I would be stuck downtown for a couple days.

Where I was, in Itaewon, the manhole covers flew off as the water came out or the sewers like a fountain. The city workers that showed up had to chase the covers down the street because they were caught up in the flow.

Otherwise, all I did was explore around Suji, get hooked on Leverage again, and write.

But today, school started again, and even though I had the morning off, I got there in time to see some of the Kindies just about to leave. At which point, I was jumped by three four year old boys who had apparently missed me.

When I got upstairs, I was informed that the Kindies were all going to Everland (think Disney World) on Thursday and that I had drawn the short straw (also known as the AWESOME straw) and I was going to be chaperon. I've been meaning to go to Everland ever since I got here so I'm pretty exited about it. I'll be sure to take a bunch of pictures.

That's really all there is, except to say that the industrial size container of Junior Mints I bought from Costco is now dwindling. T^T

Weekend Adventures

A lot happened last weekend and I actually have not had time to write about it.

After my last class on Friday in which Older Paul picketed against me grading their tests ("Teacher, I'm a protester!"). We went out because one of my co-workers, Jonathan, had his contract end and we wanted to give him a good send off. We started out at a 'Western Bar' nearby called 'Odyssey' with a giant historically inaccurate spartan warrior in the front. We all got there before Jonathan because he had to clean out his desk. After eating about three plates of food, it was starting to feel like a good riddance party instead of a goodbye party.

Talking with my Korean co-workers is always so interesting. Susan, I just found out, traveled all over the world for her husband's job - first in Hong Kong and then in Kazakhstan. She told us this story about having to send her son - one of my students - to the hospital on horseback because the snow was so deep there was no other way to travel. Where this had sent her into a homicidal frenzy when her husband got home, my reaction was more along the lines of: 'awesome'.

This conversation sparked another about accents and my Korean co-teachers proceeded to imitate various accents in Korean which was hilarious because I couldn't tell the difference and they couldn't stop laughing. Like I know how Korean accents are supposed to sound. The Chinese one was the only one I could spot because of the sing-song quality of the speech.

We traded slang and expressions. For instance, I taught them the phrase 'under your breath'and in, 'she said something under her breath behind the boss' back'. They taught me a gesture that means 'psycho' - a backwards peace sign, with each finger touching your eyes so your nose pokes out. This is because 'psy' (pronounced 'sigh') means 'between' and 'co' means nose. So, your nose is between your fingers. Thus, Psycho. We also discussed the nuanced meanings of words like 'slimy', 'skeezy', and 'vicious'.

It wasn't a really late night, I had to show Jonathan where the bus was to get to the airport and he had to pack still. Apparently, he left a lot of stuff, despite the good two hours of packing time he left himself.

Saturday, I went downtown to meet up with some friends and we did all manner of things, though we never did find that taco cart. Don't worry, there are plans to hijack it and drive it back to Suji where we can use it for our own sinister taco purposes. Stephanie wanted to show me this Irish pub she found in Itaewon that had hard cider on tap. And who should we see the first second we walk in, but the only Irish guy we know. That's right, Martin, of the rafting trip back in May, was sitting square in front of the door even though he lives across town. It was one of those moments where you realize that, although Seoul is big, the ex-pat community just isn't.

Foreign Food Run

I went to Itaewon yesterday for my bi-monthly trip to the foreign food store. It really highlights the things I'm missing when I go there. Not that I'm missing any food item so much, but when I see something I haven't had in a while and I used to love, it is almost a biological imperative that I purchase it. Ostensibly, I went to stock up on taco spices. This is because - despite the lack of taco shells and cheese - taco salad has become a staple of my diet. I figure its healthy - I mean, its just chicken and vegetables - and its super comfort food for me.

I ended up, however, with a lot more than just the taco spices. I bought some Kool-aid on a whim because I couldn't remember the last time I'd had it. I also bought some ginger ale which is surprisingly hard to find in Korea. You'd think with their love of ginger, ginger ale would have caught on in some capacity. Maybe they do have it and I just haven't discovered it.

I hadn't realized how much I miss mint flavored things, but when I saw Andes mints on the shelf I had to snatch one. Koreans, for some reason, don't do mint. Also root beer. I don't really like root beer, but it holds a certain nostalgia for me as it does for, I'm sure, every American. In this way I am connected to my countrymen.

Koreans, on the other hand, actively hate root beer. I have never seen it in any restaurant or store, and the only place you can find the flavoring is on imported lollipops. William gave one of these lollipops to one of my students because he was curious about the flavor and why he'd never heard of it before. I was telling him it was a soda in America and he didn't believe me. Actually, his exact words were: "Soda? This doesn't taste like a soda. It tastes like some not-delicious candy." No hearts or minds were won that day.

My Adventures in Itaewon

I realized recently that I have been relying on other people to plan my adventures for me for the past couple of weeks and I decided to get out of this pattern right away by planning a trip down town.

Now, Seoul is about 45 minutes away by bus and 2 hours by train so to make the trip worth while you have to be prepared: know what you want to do and where you want to go. I decided I needed a goal. I had been trying to find cumin (to make tacos) for a while and having no success. They aren't big on spices here - or at least the ones that don't make your food super hot - and the only ones they have in the regular grocery store are basil, oregano, chili powder and garlic salt. I decided that I would plan my trip around finding this magical spice.

My choice was between two areas in downtown, both had foreign food stores. Itaewon and Insa-dong. Insa-dong was where the lantern festival was and is known for its traditional crafts and old school tea shops. It has the headquarters of the local Zen Buddhist sect there at the temple (the one where we got the lanterns from during the parade). Since I had been there more recently, I decided to go to Itaewon.

Itaewon is known as the foreigner hang out because the military base is right there on the edge of the main street. As I have mentioned in a previous post, it is a little bit of a shock going from seeing a foreigner every other day or so to seeing them every other second. The shops on the main street cater to foreigners - its literally the only place in Korea where you can find a size 13 men's shoe.

First, I sought out a Greek restaurant that was off the main street because I was craving some soup. They didn't have the specific soup I wanted but I ended up having chicken soup and pita bread which was pretty good. It was a great little place, hidden away in an alley with a terrace that overlooked the streets. The chef was supposed to be Greek and the food looked pretty great.

Finding it was a little bit of a hassle because the map I had made no concessions to the actual size of the streets. They all looked to be the same width so every time it made me turn down a tiny alley I had to stop for a couple minutes to check and re-check my directions. I was never once off track.

When I got back to the main street I ran into the new teacher at our school, Matthew. He and his friend John were there looking for shoes and it was their first time in Itaewon. I diverted from my plan to show them around the stalls and try to bargain for shoes for John. It wasn't really effective because, as I have said, the shop owners know its the only place where you can find size 13 men's shoes and they charge a lot because of it.

Since John and Matthew had no other plans, I dragged them with me to see the only mosque in Korea. I felt pretty bad by the time we got there because it was quite a hike to the top of this steep hill but they didn't complain. Like I said, the area is known for foreigners and there is a significant Muslim population in the area. The streets around the mosque are filled with stores catering to Arab and Indian tastes - delis, bakeries, and spice shops. The mosque itself is surrounded by a wall so that we were walking by it for a while before we knew it was a mosque. But suddenly we were facing the entrance to the complex and it was covered in blue and white mosaic tiles. The mosque was a typical one - mosaics, spires, and Arabian-style arches.

We then headed to the foreign book store which was everything I hoped it would be - used and new books from the American market. It made me very happy. Except that I couldn't buy anything because everything I wanted to buy I had on my kindle already and just hadn't read it. It kind of sucks not having the physical book in your hands. I knew this when I got the Kindle and decided to get it anyway in the name of convenience. My big problem with packing for trips thus far had been deciding what books to take. Now, I wouldn't have to choose, I could take them all.

Still, I missed the smell of books and the weight of the book in your hand. The way you can stuff them in your backpack or roll it up in your back pocket. You may not do this with your Kindle.

I bought a book written by Tony Hawks (not Tony Hawk) that looks good, about traveling through Europe to challenge a soccer team to a tennis match in response to a bet.

Finally, we ended up at a foreign food store which had been my destination all along. I bought chicken soup (really missing it) and maple syrup and I contemplated a large block of cheddar cheese. Cheese is kind of sold at a premium here, so a block of cheese the size of one of those tiny cereal boxes (the ones that come in six packs) is about 10,000 won or $10 USD. I figured I didn't need cheese that badly. Maybe one day I would get that starved for cheese but I wasn't to that point yet.

No cumin.

Secret Suji Foreigner Smile

Yesterday, I found out just how far outside Seoul we really are. I mean the area is pretty commercial and everything with lots of apartment buildings and shops, but there are still things like parks and hilly stands of trees. Every once in a while you will see an ex-patriot - actually I've figured out that there are about five foreigners I see on a regular basis - wandering the streets and it a little bit of a shock. But when we went to Itaewon in downtown Seoul it was like every other person was an ex-pat. Where I live, if I see someone who doesn't look like everyone else, my mind goes FOREIGNER! - you know, to alert me - and I at least try to smile at them. We have all developed that same smile that's like 'Fancy meeting you here, fellow countryperson. Isn't this a situation we have ourselves in?' that we only use on each other.

In Itaewon, however, my mind was like FOREIGNER! FOREIGNER! FOREIGNER! and I was startled every single time. There was no sharing of the Secret Suji Foreigner Smile - I don't even think they knew the Secret Suji Foreigner Smile! It was very unsettling.

My friend, Jonathan, wanted to do some shopping so we were going in and out of shops looking for shirts that would fit him - he's a big guy so buying things in a district that catered to foreigners was his best bet of getting something that fits. Jonathan, however, doesn't seem to understand the concept of 'haggling' and bought two shirts for 30$ each before I had to stop him. It actually physically hurt to watch him pay that much for t-shirts. The rest of the day was spent in Lessons on Haggling with Emily. I taught him the 'I Don't Know if I Really Want it' look, the 'That's Way Too Expensive!' gasp, and the ever classic Good Cop, Bad Cop where one person seems interested in the object while the other tries to hurry the first away or get them not to buy the object. This causes the vendor to lower the price rapidly. He was very impressed with my chicanery (I done gone and used my GRE words, ma!). The lesson, however, wasn't too effective because I wasn't sure how much things should cost in Korea, which affects how hard you haggle.

I did end up buying a pretty headband that seem to be all the rage in Korea - when I wear it it looks like there is an embroidered sequin-y flower in my hair. I paid 8$ for it and I haven't figured out whether or not this is a good price. Originally, the lady wanted me to bay 10$ so I guess thats something.

In other news I am making headway in Emily-Korean relations. On Friday one of the Korean women I work with (Rachel) came to sit down with me at my desk and we started talking. She didn't speak English very well but she was really being very nice. At some point she was trying to tell me something that seemed very important but she couldn't find the words. "There has been a lot of talk.... People talk about you... They say..." and she would seem to be searching for the words. I was freaking out on the inside because I have found that this is how Korean start bad news. They are nice to you and then they get all serious and try to tell you something, always stopping to try and find the right words that won't offend.

I was quickly sorting through my mind what I could have done that was bad - I was picking apart my last week furiously trying to figure it out. By the time she came out with what she had to say I had convinced myself I had committed several fire-able offenses just in the last 6 hours and that I was going to be sent home.

"They say you are very smart." ... wait, what?

Apparently, they had all been talking about my transcripts from college and even though I was never impressed really with my grades in college, I got all A's and B's so I suppose that is pretty good. From what I have heard of Korean Universities, its no joke getting in but then its like a four year vacation. No one cares about the grades, its about the connections you make. Which reminds me a lot of Eckerd, actually. So, Rachel and I had a long talk about how smart and nice I was (good topic) and she said she wanted to be my friend so I should come an visit her at her desk more. I was really touched and pleased that she had sought me out, and not just cause she said I was smart.

Also, the effects of The Incident which I have mentioned in previous posts (where I cut off Mrs. Kim in the hallway) seem to have disappeared completely and she is back to giving me candy when no one else is around. This is a status quo I can live with.