Weekend Adventures

A lot happened last weekend and I actually have not had time to write about it.

After my last class on Friday in which Older Paul picketed against me grading their tests ("Teacher, I'm a protester!"). We went out because one of my co-workers, Jonathan, had his contract end and we wanted to give him a good send off. We started out at a 'Western Bar' nearby called 'Odyssey' with a giant historically inaccurate spartan warrior in the front. We all got there before Jonathan because he had to clean out his desk. After eating about three plates of food, it was starting to feel like a good riddance party instead of a goodbye party.

Talking with my Korean co-workers is always so interesting. Susan, I just found out, traveled all over the world for her husband's job - first in Hong Kong and then in Kazakhstan. She told us this story about having to send her son - one of my students - to the hospital on horseback because the snow was so deep there was no other way to travel. Where this had sent her into a homicidal frenzy when her husband got home, my reaction was more along the lines of: 'awesome'.

This conversation sparked another about accents and my Korean co-teachers proceeded to imitate various accents in Korean which was hilarious because I couldn't tell the difference and they couldn't stop laughing. Like I know how Korean accents are supposed to sound. The Chinese one was the only one I could spot because of the sing-song quality of the speech.

We traded slang and expressions. For instance, I taught them the phrase 'under your breath'and in, 'she said something under her breath behind the boss' back'. They taught me a gesture that means 'psycho' - a backwards peace sign, with each finger touching your eyes so your nose pokes out. This is because 'psy' (pronounced 'sigh') means 'between' and 'co' means nose. So, your nose is between your fingers. Thus, Psycho. We also discussed the nuanced meanings of words like 'slimy', 'skeezy', and 'vicious'.

It wasn't a really late night, I had to show Jonathan where the bus was to get to the airport and he had to pack still. Apparently, he left a lot of stuff, despite the good two hours of packing time he left himself.

Saturday, I went downtown to meet up with some friends and we did all manner of things, though we never did find that taco cart. Don't worry, there are plans to hijack it and drive it back to Suji where we can use it for our own sinister taco purposes. Stephanie wanted to show me this Irish pub she found in Itaewon that had hard cider on tap. And who should we see the first second we walk in, but the only Irish guy we know. That's right, Martin, of the rafting trip back in May, was sitting square in front of the door even though he lives across town. It was one of those moments where you realize that, although Seoul is big, the ex-pat community just isn't.

The Ups and Downs of Homogeneity

When you were little, what cautions did your parents always leave you with? I'm sure it varies for everyone, but most of you probably had some form of the classics: Look both ways before you cross the street, respect your elders, don't talk to strangers.

Well, that last one seems to not be so important in Korea. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I would say that Korean kids are encouraged to go up to strangers and pester them for candy. Its a strange existence when xenophobia is not instilled on that level in the young. Everyone is so friendly and in each other's business. Its how I imagined small town America would have been in the 1950s. Maybe today, I don't know. The only reason I've ever gone to small town America was to either do a gig there or to drive through (I guess with the exception of my summer in Arizona).

On a field trip the other day, one of the little girls I was supposed to be looking after strayed over to talk to a middle aged man in a shady corner. It was making me nervous because in America, the situation would be viewed with a certain amount of wariness and the man would know it. He would then work to end the conversation because he would feel uncomfortable or he would know he was making someone else uncomfortable. Not in Korea. In Korea, this situation is viewed with an air of 'isn't that cute? He's taking time to talk to that little girl'. In this situation, I was the one who had to calm the heck down.

This has a lot to do, I think, with the sameness of Korea. I don't think those kids would be so willing to talk to foreigners that way, but since it was a Korean man then they knew to expect certain things from him.

Despite the fact that I strongly believe America's diversity is one of its greatest strengths, there is something to be said for living in a society with no surprises. People here feel a very strong bond with each other to the point where the honor system actually works (this may have more to do with the group-oriented nature of East Asian cultures than Korea's homogeneity but it could be some of both). People in Korea never have to make allowances for different religions, or different cultures or even for different dietary needs. Here everyone has had the same upbringing, everyone likes the same things (mostly), everyone eats the same food.

Not to say that Korea is a boring place, or that it doesn't have things from other cultures, which it does, but that - for the majority - Korean people like to be Korean.

This also leads to unexpected problems for the foreigner. For example, there is no way I'm going to find make-up here to match my skin tone (not really that big a problem, but still).

I have to find a specific pizza place that sells normal pepperoni pizza without putting things on it I would consider to be not compatible with pizza - mustard, potatoes, squid, hard-boiled eggs, and mayonnaise to name just a few.

I can find shoes just fine, but my co-worker, Jonathan, has trouble finding a men's 13 size shoe for obvious reasons. He and William also have a hard time getting their hair cut because they are both black and have hair textured in such a way that it baffles Korean hairstylists.

I, too, have been having trouble getting my hair cut but only because I want to get my side-swoopey bangs again and here everyone has bangs that go straight across their forehead. It looks great on Korean girls but I'm pretty sure I'd look stupid. Korean hairstylists just assume that you want it the way everyone else has it. Not being able to communicate what I want will be a problem.

Finally, the biggest problem I found with the homogeneity of Korean society is that they don't often appreciate thinking outside the box. Things that are different or not to their tastes are dismissed out of hand. A good example would be when I came to work with henna on my hands. The kids went crazy. They thought it was the weirdest thing they'd ever seen which is understandable if you've never seen it before. But the way they carried on you would think I had a disease on my hand.

Though the younger, urban, generations embrace all things new and different, just outside the city people are not so accepting.

A Night Out

I really have the best co-workers in all of Korea. Hands down.

We went out to dinner last night - the Korean staple of fired chicken and beer - and had a blast. Sally is leaving to become an Ajima (Korean for old lady, basically) and we teased her about practicing her ajima elbow (Old ladies in Korea routinely elbow people in sensitive areas to get their way - whether its to get a seat on the subway or samples at Lotte Mart). We met Susan's husband who speaks English better than I do and continuously tried to set up my new co-worker, Matthew, with various Korean ladies of his acquaintance.

If I ever have a question about Korean culture or language, they are more than happy to explain it. Rachel, out of some misguided theory that I actually want such information, has been informing me on the best places to go bungee jumping. Lynn recommends Korean Dramas for me to watch, and Sally always bring in Korean candy for us to try. Debbie explains things in terms that I understand when the other explanations just aren't doing it and William will explain things that it never even occurred to Debbie to explain because they are so common place. Jonathan and Matthew are both born and bred geeks who get my obscure references to Settlers of Cattan or npr, or some other geeky, web based happenings. All in all , its a good mix.

Yesterday, for instance, I learned about something rather peculiar. I saw some signs for the world cup game (being played today! woohooo!) that spelled it 'Corea' instead of with a 'K'. I asked William about that and he said that the name used to be spelled with a 'C' but when Japan invaded, they changed it to 'K' so that Korea would come after Japan in the alphabet. Really petty. I don't know why they didn't change it back, maybe because by then Korea had appeared on the world stage and they didn't want to confuse anyone into forgetting about them. Names have been changed for sillier reasons.

Drunk and Still Sober

We had some more Korean team building yesterday. This time in the guise of saying farewell to Sean, our co-teacher, who is heading back to Canada because his contract is over. Sean is going back to spend more time with his father who is dying of cancer. I always feel as though I should say something to him but I never quite find the words. And really, what is there to say? My cat had cancer but saying anything about that would just be ridiculous. How can I compare my loss with his disaster?

Needless to say we were trying pretty hard to have a good time last night. Sean seems to be pretty resigned about it but the rest of us aren't so well adjusted.

So we talked a little, the Korean teachers made fun of the men's eating habits (namely that they didn't eat enough) and Susan tried to get me to eat pig's liver (not a chance in hell). We talked a little about the whole North Korea and South Korea being on the edge of war thing and how three of North Korea's submarines are missing. Lynn was speaking quickly and gesturing at us which William said was her complaining that it didn't matter to us because we could just hop on a plane and go home. Which is true, I suppose, but we're still here now.

We drank a lot of makali which is a rice alcohol with milk or yogurt mixed in. It has the uncanny ability to turn my face bright red. This time I wasn't sitting next to Rachel and thus wasn't required to keep up with her in the makali drinking department. That was Sean's job this time.

We tried to talk about the new foreign teacher but it was like it was a national secret or something. We couldn't get a name or an age out of Debbie. All we could get was that it was a he and he would be getting here Saturday, starting on Monday (more time than I got). After being pressed we found out that he is from 'your country'.

It was pretty sober evening in general, with war and death on everyone's mind no matter how much makali was consumed.

Foxy

On Thursday we had a little English lesson within the confines of the teacher's lounge. It actually started out as a Korean lesson; Jonathan wanted to know what a Korean word meant - he majored in Japanese so he's picking up Korean really well.

Susan, our Korean co-teacher, said that the word meant 'foxy'. Jonathan frowned. I saw that he was reading a Go manual (Go is like the Chinese version of chess. Jonathan's whole reason for coming to Korea is to study Go and he goes to a Go dojo every weekend.) and couldn't imagine a scenario in Go in which you would use the word 'foxy'. I asked her if she was sure and Sally, another Korean teacher, clarified.

"Like Kris. Foxy." since she was referring to a six year old boy, I knew we weren't speaking the same language. Jonathan and I continued to stare blankly at the two of them until Sally continued. "He is clever but.... selfish. Like a fox." Ooooh.

We both had to laugh at this and I told them that that wasn't what 'foxy' meant. They asked if there was a better English word and the only one I came up with was 'Machiavellian' which is closer to what they meant then simply 'clever'. I had to, of course, explain what Machiavellian meant and Jonathan kept on laughing the whole time like I was doing something highly amusing.

On one hand, my inability to think of other words to describe things besides 'Machiavellian' was amusing and listening to me trying to explain it was probably even funnier.

But I think it has a little to do with the fact that its easy to assume that just because someone talks with an accent or speaks little English means they're stupid. Maybe he thought they wouldn't understand and me trying was hilarious. But Sally and Susan were perfectly capable of understanding the concept even though their English is limited

I can't say I haven't made that mistake before. When someone who speaks very little English manages to convey a complex concept it kind of throws me for a loop. I know they're not stupid but it's hard to keep that in the forefront of my mind. I am almost certain that this is how I sound in other languages, however, so maybe there are a whole lot of people out there who just assumed I was stupid. This whole misunderstanding has a lot to do with the fact that it easier to talk about simple concepts in other languages then it is to maintain philosophical discourse.

Finally, Susan and Sally asked what 'foxy' meant and, after I delved into the intricacies of the expression, we had a great deal of fun that day yelling things like 'hey foxy lady!'

EDIT: As it turns out 'foxy' does kind of mean what they thought but I still think I told them the right thing. In modern English no one thinks of those other meanings, everyone immediately jumps to 'sexy'.

ON SHOT ONE KILL

More team building took place tonight. I got the impression that they had such a good time at the impromptu dinner the other night that they decided to arrange a potluck with all the teachers.

I made tacos! And they were a big hit; everyone took some home with them. The other English teachers made Caesar salad, pasta and red sauce, brownies. The Korean teachers brought it various Korean dishes - the names of which I know not. We had the same pork wraps there were the last time and this weird salad-type thing that had everything in it. And I mean everything. There were: grapes, shrimp, cherry tomatoes, lettuce, red peppers, corn, apples and some other things I could not identify all in a creamy yogurt-like sauce. Debbie made these things that tasted like potato pancakes but had no actual potatoes in it.

Rachel was drinking again - she seems to be the office lush - but shes a funny drunk so its okay. After about a bottle of the rice wine we were drinking she started treating the little dixie cups we were drinking out of like shot glasses. Lynn, another Korean teacher, was not helping anything by yelling "ONE SHOT ONE KILL!" at Rachel every time she got another cup. This, by the way, is my new favorite saying.

The best part of the evening was when we were all full and just trying new combinations of foods. Jonathan had brought sour cream for the tacos and Rachel put a LOT on her taco. So, in order to... I don't know, spread the taste around? she put, on top of that, some pasta and some red sauce in the taco shell. Then the other Korean teachers, liking the taste of the sour cream, started putting it on the corn bread. The Americans at the table were all shaking their heads, telling them not to try it, and were all completely disgusted when they ate it. Christina, a Korean teacher, then put the sour cream on a brownie. I actually tried it and it wasn't so bad.

Jonathan was thoroughly repulsed by this but was not about to be out sour creamed by a girl (especially after the other teachers had said, in Korean, that he wasn't manly because he wouldn't drink and didn't eat very much).

So he got one of the fried potato pancake-like things in his hand and asked for the sour cream. Because, normally, you have sour cream on potato pancakes. Immediately, all the Korean teachers were shouting at him like they were trying to talk him of a ledge. They were so grossed out by the prospect that many of them refused to watch. The ones who did gave a collective groan as he downed the thing.

Its so weird how taste buds are so different from culture to culture.

Something I really like about Koreans is that they are not self-conscious when they eat. They just shove food in their mouths as gracelessly as they want and no one judges. They really liked tacos.

By the end we were so full I felt like I could have rolled home.

Korean Team Building

So I had my first taste of Korean team building today which actually involves a lot of alcohol. I was one of the last teachers to leave and was invited along with some of my Korean co-workers and Jonathan to eat dinner before I left.

Mr. Kim, the owner of the school had cooked some sort of pork dish with some ramen and set it up in one of the classrooms. It ended up being me, Jonathan, Rachel, Debbie (who is our go-to-girl because she speaks the best English) and Mr. and Mrs. Kim.

We were told to wrap the pork (which was really greasy and fatty) in these leaves which we were told were sesame leaves. Add in some pepper paste, some chillies and garlic cloves and stuff the whole mess in your mouth. This was all accompanied by two rather large bottles of rice wine. It was actually a lot of fun seeing them when we weren't all working though I couldn't really speak to the Kims because they barely speak English (ironic, no?). Debbie was telling us about the food and the way Korean people think about food.

Warm food is supposed to be better for your digestion because it is closer to the temperature of your body and thus helps your body be at peak performance. Therefore there is very few foods that Koreans eat that is cold. I can't really think of any other than kimchi. The rice wine they were serving was supposed to be good for your digestion, like yogurt, and kind of had some sludgy stuff at the bottom.

We were all drinking, but Rachel seemed most affected by it. She kept on starting a sentence in English and then finishing it in Korean like she didn't have the mental fortitude at the moment to think of words in English. At one point she was trying very hard to convey something to us (this was after she made me promise to call her 'older sister') and kept staring with "I..." and then trailing off.
"I.. I am.. I.." and she waved her hands in the air like she could catch the word if she just tried hard enough. finally, she turned to Debbie and said something. Debbie turns back to her with an amused look on her face and enunciates clearly: "Drunk." Rachel turned to us and nodded solemnly.

Whoever thought a ropes course would be better than this has clearly never been to Korea.

Secret Suji Foreigner Smile

Yesterday, I found out just how far outside Seoul we really are. I mean the area is pretty commercial and everything with lots of apartment buildings and shops, but there are still things like parks and hilly stands of trees. Every once in a while you will see an ex-patriot - actually I've figured out that there are about five foreigners I see on a regular basis - wandering the streets and it a little bit of a shock. But when we went to Itaewon in downtown Seoul it was like every other person was an ex-pat. Where I live, if I see someone who doesn't look like everyone else, my mind goes FOREIGNER! - you know, to alert me - and I at least try to smile at them. We have all developed that same smile that's like 'Fancy meeting you here, fellow countryperson. Isn't this a situation we have ourselves in?' that we only use on each other.

In Itaewon, however, my mind was like FOREIGNER! FOREIGNER! FOREIGNER! and I was startled every single time. There was no sharing of the Secret Suji Foreigner Smile - I don't even think they knew the Secret Suji Foreigner Smile! It was very unsettling.

My friend, Jonathan, wanted to do some shopping so we were going in and out of shops looking for shirts that would fit him - he's a big guy so buying things in a district that catered to foreigners was his best bet of getting something that fits. Jonathan, however, doesn't seem to understand the concept of 'haggling' and bought two shirts for 30$ each before I had to stop him. It actually physically hurt to watch him pay that much for t-shirts. The rest of the day was spent in Lessons on Haggling with Emily. I taught him the 'I Don't Know if I Really Want it' look, the 'That's Way Too Expensive!' gasp, and the ever classic Good Cop, Bad Cop where one person seems interested in the object while the other tries to hurry the first away or get them not to buy the object. This causes the vendor to lower the price rapidly. He was very impressed with my chicanery (I done gone and used my GRE words, ma!). The lesson, however, wasn't too effective because I wasn't sure how much things should cost in Korea, which affects how hard you haggle.

I did end up buying a pretty headband that seem to be all the rage in Korea - when I wear it it looks like there is an embroidered sequin-y flower in my hair. I paid 8$ for it and I haven't figured out whether or not this is a good price. Originally, the lady wanted me to bay 10$ so I guess thats something.

In other news I am making headway in Emily-Korean relations. On Friday one of the Korean women I work with (Rachel) came to sit down with me at my desk and we started talking. She didn't speak English very well but she was really being very nice. At some point she was trying to tell me something that seemed very important but she couldn't find the words. "There has been a lot of talk.... People talk about you... They say..." and she would seem to be searching for the words. I was freaking out on the inside because I have found that this is how Korean start bad news. They are nice to you and then they get all serious and try to tell you something, always stopping to try and find the right words that won't offend.

I was quickly sorting through my mind what I could have done that was bad - I was picking apart my last week furiously trying to figure it out. By the time she came out with what she had to say I had convinced myself I had committed several fire-able offenses just in the last 6 hours and that I was going to be sent home.

"They say you are very smart." ... wait, what?

Apparently, they had all been talking about my transcripts from college and even though I was never impressed really with my grades in college, I got all A's and B's so I suppose that is pretty good. From what I have heard of Korean Universities, its no joke getting in but then its like a four year vacation. No one cares about the grades, its about the connections you make. Which reminds me a lot of Eckerd, actually. So, Rachel and I had a long talk about how smart and nice I was (good topic) and she said she wanted to be my friend so I should come an visit her at her desk more. I was really touched and pleased that she had sought me out, and not just cause she said I was smart.

Also, the effects of The Incident which I have mentioned in previous posts (where I cut off Mrs. Kim in the hallway) seem to have disappeared completely and she is back to giving me candy when no one else is around. This is a status quo I can live with.

The Incident

Many of you may be aware of my love for dogs. And many of you may know how much of an understatement 'love' is in this instance. Some of you may even have used a word like 'obsession' or 'mania'. So if I told you that there is a pet store with puppies in the window on my way home you may be surprised to hear today was the first day I went in to pet them. I managed to restrain myself a full week and a half. While I was petting these little puppies - who are completely ignored by the owner of the store (I have never seen so much as pat one on the head) - I happen to look up and see, through the window of the shop, another American watching me as she walks by. We shared this moment like, 'what better way to end the day than petting puppies?' And she smiled and shook her head as she walked on.

It seemed to be the day for me and random strangers because on the way home a Korean woman insisted I share her umbrella (it was sleeting) for about a block. This is very unusual because normally Koreans aren't too into people they don't know. In fact, Koreans are supposed to be famous for their coldness towards strangers. But its like when people say that the residence of New York are rude. I happen to know a lot of New Yorkers and not one of them would I call rude, its just a matter of different culture. There are so many people in NYC that without standing up for yourself your voice will never be heard. People ignore you on subways because its really the only way they can give you any privacy due to lack of space. If you are jammed all up in someone's armpit the least they can do it pretend they aren't listening to your phone call (yes, the one you are making from their armpit).

In Korea its kind of the same thing. There are so many people that pretending not to notice someone is a way to give them privacy. Otherwise you would feel as though you were being observed 24/7. But once you are introduced to someone properly you ignore them at your peril. If you don't say hi to someone you are supposed to know they will be offended. I learned this from a fellow teacher, Will, who said that you should treat your employers like parents (because buisnesses are viewed as families in Korea and family is very important) and always greet them when you see them. He also said that this is why Sean and Jonathan, or colleagues, often get the cold shoulder from our bosses, Mr. and Mrs. Kim. They never say hello.

Since then I have made a point to always greet them if the opportunity arose and they pretty much are good to me. Mrs. Kim is always worrying that I'm too cold and today went out of her way to give me some sort of dried fruit at lunch. But I may have shot myself in the foot later today because when I was in a hurry between classes I accidentally cut in front of her to get in the door. Korea is a pretty hierarchical society and jumping in front of you superior is a big no no. The second I did it I knew it was a bad idea. Hopefully, one day she will forgive me.

Also, if you are bored you may want to try this. It's a color name survey. Not only is it intriguing and addicting, it also has anthropological significance and we all know the world needs more of that.